


Forgiveness

by Graphite_crumble



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Conflict Resolution, Episode: s03e16 Blood Fever, Gen, Missing Scene, Pon Farr, and mild injury, as in the word gets said, brief mention of rape, vulcan guilt is a powerful thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graphite_crumble/pseuds/Graphite_crumble
Summary: Post "Blood Fever"B'elanna just wants things to go back to normal, and that includes her friendship with Ensign Vorik. Vorik isn't finding it so easy.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	Forgiveness

"Oh, what the hell is this?" B'elanna Torres sighed as she read the shift transfer form on the screen of her padd. 

Vorik hadn't returned to work yet, having requested some more time off after the incident that had occurred between them 3 days ago, and now he was asking to be moved to Gamma Shift. 

"Problem, Lieutenant?" asked Carey, looking up from his work station at the sound of the chief engineer's frustration. 

"Just a personnel issue. Hold the fort, I'll be back in a bit."

Carey nodded and continued working as B'elanna headed for the turbolift. 

She'd received a very formally worded message from Vorik, the evening they'd returned to the ship, stating that he was deeply apologetic for his poor handling of his Pon Farr, during which he had mentally and physically assaulted her. She'd written back a brief note to say his apology was accepted, they were still friends, and she'd see him at work when he felt up to it.

As she made her way to his quarters, she wondered if she should have gone to see him in person before now. Written communication wasn't her strong suit, and he was obviously still feeling awkward about the whole thing if he was willing to condemn himself to the dullness of the night shift to avoid her.

B'elanna rang the doorbell of Vorik's quarters, and waited. And waited. 

"Computer, locate Ensign Vorik," She ordered impatiently. 

"Ensign Vorik is in his quarters," came the reply. 

She pressed the doorbell again, and followed it up with a thump on the door for good measure. 

"Vorik, it's B'elanna. I know you're in there. Open the damn door!" She called, and gave him a few seconds to respond. "I _will_ use my override if I have to!" 

The door swooshed open, and she peered into the dimly lit room.

"What can I do for you, Lieutenant Torres?" 

Vorik stood with his back to her, hands clasped tightly behind him, seemingly engrossed in studying the contents of his own shelves. 

B'elanna walked in, and let the door close behind her before she answered him.

"You can tell me what the hell this is about." 

She held the padd out, waving it beside his face to get his attention. He glanced at it briefly. 

"I would have thought it was self-explanatory. I have requested a shift change. I believe it would be for the best, given...the circumstances," he replied. "I will not subject you to having to work beside me every day." 

"How _noble_ of you," said B'elanna sarcastically. "Request denied." 

Vorik seemed to wince at her words. 

"Did you get my message?" asked B'elanna, folding her arms. She saw Vorik nod curtly. "Then you know we're good here. You're one of my best engineers, and I _like_ working with you. You're staying on alpha shift. Now, when can I expect you back?"

Vorik shook his head, and closed his eyes for a moment. 

"I do not understand you," he said. 

"It would have been nice if you'd realised that before you proposed," said B'elanna dryly. 

"You are _joking_ about it," Vorik sounded scandalised, for a Vulcan. He turned his head just enough to look at her from the corner of his eye. "What I did to you was unforgivable, B'elanna. But Lieutenant Tuvok will not place me under arrest, and I can still be of use to the ship. A schedule where we do not have to interact is the logical solution." 

"' _U_ _nder arrest'?_ Vorik, you're being ridiculous!" replied B'elanna, exasperated. "It wasn't your fault." She paused, wondering how to get it through that dense Vulcan skull of his, and continued, her voice softening a little. "Ok, look. You say what happened was 'unforgivable'. But I was the victim here, so shouldn't that be up to me to decide? You were sick, Vorik."

"I was not _sick._ I had... _a condition,_ yes, but I was not sick." argued Vorik. "It is a fact of life for vulcans. Loss of control is to be expected, but I should have _planned_ for it. I should never have approached you as far gone as I was. The fault is mine." 

He was still addressing his comments at his shelves, and B'elanna was getting fed up with it. She just wanted things to return to normal.

"If we're going to talk about this, can you at least look me in the eye?" She asked.

"I would rather not."

B'elanna had a sudden suspicion, and placed her hand on his shoulder, applying pressure until he reluctantly complied and turned to face her. 

"Oh, Vorik…" she sighed as her suspicion was confirmed, and released him. "Computer, raise lights to standard levels." 

The room brightened and showed her the full extent of what she had only just been able to make out in the dark. The right side of his face was an ugly dark green, his eye half closed from the swelling around his cheekbone. From the stiff way he moved, B'elanna guessed it was not the only injury left from their brawl that he had let go untreated. He at least had the sense to look ashamed of his current state. 

"How could the doctor let you out of sickbay like this?" She asked, feeling a burst of irritation. 

"I am within my rights to refuse treatment for non-lethal injuries," answered Vorik. 

"Vorik, you are a _brilliant_ engineer. But you're also a damn idiot," B'elanna snapped. She walked away from him, pinching the bridge of her nose to try and relieve the headache she felt building up behind her ridges. She gestured at his couch. "You mind if I…?" 

"Please," nodded Vorik. He waited until she was seated before limping awkwardly to his desk and sitting down in his computer chair, turning it to face her. 

"Let me ask you something. This sudden insight on what you _should_ have done: Did it cross your mind at the time?" She enquired, already sure of the answer. 

"No," admitted Vorik. "I have had plenty of time to think on the matter since, however." 

"Yes, hiding in your quarters tends to allow time for thinking," replied B'elanna curtly. She paused and took a breath. She didn't want to berate him. "Look, Hindsight is 20/20. It didn't cross your mind at the time, because you were _out_ of your damn mind. And at one point, you were in _mine_ , so I know that for a fact." 

"I was. I invaded your mind. It is one of the worst taboos of vulcan culture to do so," explained Vorik, filled with shame. She deserved to understand the depths of his violation.

"Well, good thing I'm not Vulcan then," B'elanna retorted, as if that settled the matter.

Vorik frowned, trying to recall that particular awfulness. Truthfully, his memories of the past few weeks were fragmented and chaotic, but he pieces together what he remembered of that particular moment.

"I grabbed your face. You were...scared of me." he uttered quietly. 

"I was scared _for_ you," corrected B'elanna firmly. "You're my friend, Vorik. I knew something was wrong with you, I just wished I'd known what it was. Maybe things wouldn't have escalated the way they did." 

"My behaviour was still unacceptable. Other vulcans…" 

"Other vulcans aren't stranded halfway across the galaxy! Other vulcans can go home to their families, their bondmates, and their healers!" B'elanna cut him off.

Vorik raised an eyebrow in surprise at her knowledge.

"I had a very enlightening talk with Tuvok yesterday," she explained. "My point is, you can't compare yourself to them. And you can't keep beating yourself up over this. Stop trying to punish yourself, because I'm sure as hell not asking you to." 

Vorik seemed to shrink before her eyes like a scolded child, his shoulders slumping as he stared down at his hands. B'elanna waited for him to contribute something to the conversation.

"I do not deserve this kindness from you," he finally said. "I attacked you, B'elanna. I would have...I would have _raped_ you, had I won our fight." 

"Well, _that_ was never going to happen. I can kick your scrawny butt any day of the week," B'elanna joked, trying to ease the tension. "Plus, you know. Tuvok and Chakotay would never have let you. And neither would Tom."

Another thought occurred to her. 

"I attacked Tom, you know?" She said. Vorik looked at her with mild alarm. Evidently he _hadn't_ known. "Yeah. Bit him right on the face. Drew blood. And I came pretty close to...well, you were there. You get the idea." 

"I can only apologise again," said Vorik, not bothering to disguise the emotion in his voice. He had never been so ashamed. 

"No, you _can'_ _t_ apologise, because it wasn't your fault. I attacked him, not you. I had my own little 'Pon Farr' madness going on. Tell me, am I to blame? Do you think I should be punished for it? Arrested and thrown in the brig, maybe?" probed B'elanna. 

Vorik considered what she was saying, understanding the parallels she was trying to draw. 

"It is not the same," he finally said. "You are not a Vulcan." 

"No, I'm a damn Klingon! Well, half. And I'm pretty sure that if I'd been a pure-blooded one, I'd have snapped Tom in half like a damn twig. Parts of him, anyway," She said. "The human in me is what held out. But you're not human, and neither am I. Vulcans, Klingons: We both have savagery in us. We both fight it, every day. Believe me, I understand what it's like to lose control to something that's a part of you. We have that in common." 

Vorik had no response for that. He continued to stare at his hands, wallowing in his self-loathing. B'elanna got up and walked over to him, stopping just in front of him. 

"Look at me, Vorik," she demanded, and he did so, his eyes filled with doubt. "You had one bad day. Just one. And you couldn't tell any of us what was wrong because of some stupid Vulcan stigma! I thought some Klingons rituals were idiotic, but raising generation after generation of Vulcan men to be ashamed of their own biology? Keeping it a secret so nobody can help?! Sorry to pass judgement on your whole culture but that's _crazy_ ! And it's not fair. Not on you, and not on me either. We've got decades of travel ahead of us, and I don't want to lose you as my friend over this. So it's simple, because I'm _making_ it simple: I forgive you. And I need you to forgive yourself, too. Please." 

Vorik drew in a deep breath, and felt his broken ribs shift painfully. He closed his eyes for a moment and looked up at her. 

"I will try," he offered. 

"I can accept 'try'," nodded B'elanna, satisfied. "Now come on. We're going to sickbay to get you fixed up. Can you walk ok?" 

"I can manage," answered Vorik, rising shakily. 

They headed for the door, B'elanna slowing her pace to match his injured steps.

"Oh, and do one more thing for me?" asked B'elanna. 

"Of course." 

"Find a damn girlfriend sometime within the next seven years, yeah?" She grinned. 

"I may need some assistance in that regard," replied Vorik. "Evidence suggests I am rather inept at human courtship." 

B'elanna snorted. And then giggled. And before she knew it she was _howling_ with laughter, while all the while, Vorik stood as stoic and silent as ever, his placid expression making her laugh harder every time she looked at him. 

"You...you really are…" she choked out, nearly in tears from laughing. "Oh my god, Vorik...you...you were trying to _date_ me….and I didn't even _know…_ " 

Vorik allowed the corners of his mouth to rise, his subtle smile a concession to what they had endured together. His life-threatening need for a mate was over, for now, and B'elanna had forgiven him. 

He hoped that one day he would be able to do the same. 

**Author's Note:**

> HUGE thanks to Kay for inspiring me to write again, and beta reading!


End file.
